Wow, Granny Smith apples last a long time

So I got a bunch of granny smith apples just before Christmas so my brother could make an apple pie. He didn't use them all and won't eat them or use them for anything else since. I had a look in the fridge and there's still a couple left today (March). I tried one and it is still crispy, and nice tasting! They've been stored in the crisper of the fridge, so cool and dark most of them time, but still outlasting any other apple variety I have bought! 

I suppose I should give an update on everything else. 

My Spain trip was finally fully approved last week. Keep in mind that the trip is in less than 2 weeks from now. 

Now the admin is done I can finally actually work on my research and data analysis! I have yet to begin putting a poster together. I've been wrapping up a few loose ends with data and making some figures to explore what secrets it may reveal to me. Unfortunately, today R has decided to be extra slow so I've not been feeling overly productive.

Also, I think I experienced sleep paralysis for the first time this morning. I woke up multiple times and I could barely keep my eyes open or move, so I ended up just going back to sleep until I woke up being able to open my eyes properly. Thankfully, it was fairly mild in symptoms, but if I had to go into the office and wasn't able to work from home I would have been majorly screwed. Yay, for sleep disorders!

Even now, it's 21:40 (9:40 pm) and I'm still working to try and catch up for the messed up start to the day I had. However, another thing about me is that I don't usually function well in the mornings anyway, and am naturally a night owl. Regardless of sleep hygiene practices, medications, melotonin supplements and forcing myself to get up early and go to bed early. My natural circadian rhythm is functional when the sun is down, and dead when the sun is up.  

If you go back to when human ancestors lived in tribes, it makes sense that some people are nocturnal. If everyone was on the same sleeping pattern , that would mean there would be no body to keep the tribe safe at night. I just wished this concept was more accepted in the workplace. Since it is not I have to force myself to try and work at a low efficiency in the day time and then when I really need to get things done stay up at night to be productive, which then in turn makes everything harder the next day and is a vicious cycle of me burning out trying to keep up with society.

Gee, this post went down hill, maybe I should go back to apples....

Hello depression

Well, I made it to uni today, not until after 12 pm, but I made it. 

On the drive in today I made the realisation that my main problem at the moment is depression. Not so much anxiety, as is often the case, but the depression part of me has flared up again. Hurrah!

I'm currently at my desk, slowly doing some image analysis, but staying focused is quite hard. It's a simple job, just tedious, but I am just feeling sad, my sadness is barely controllable. I'm trying to distract myself by doing my work, that I REALLY need to do, but I'm physically feeling a heaviness in my chest, and when I stop to breathe I can feel the tears beginning to well up inside. I am barely holding it together, and it is an absolute pain. I just want to be able to do my work!

I have a meeting in less than 2 hours to discuss some lab equipment, how thrilling... It's one of the main reasons I'm actually on campus today. But then If I stayed at home I would feel even worse, and I doubt I would even be acknowledging my emotions. At least I'm out of the house, and trying to get some work done, I'm making an effort. The problem is, I'm always making an effort, and it's absolutely exhausting! 

I took some Rizotriptan last night, my constant headache was getting worse, and I thought I should try and knock it out before it got too severe. I think it did the trick. Less pain today, just the normal amount, lol. Yes, I have to laugh, it's a coping mechanism.

Anyway, I've pretty much finished one analysis in this past hour, time for a food break before the meeting I guess.