Sunday 21 May 2023

Another intense week...

So, I made it back to uni Mon- Weds this week! This is a bit of an achievement for me. After being away for so long it feels weird in many ways. The weirdest feeling is the social aspect of it. Seeing people after so long, and some of them wondering where you have been and having to explain a certain amount to them is always a bit scary. I am thankful I actually have a physical problem (migraines) and not just autistic problems and carers responsibilities, since people seem to understand physical problems so much better. As progressive as society is in some ways, I would not be able to explain my autism properly in a way that others would even begin to comprehend, especially since I present so well. I am a master at masking not just my autism, but also all my other stresses, responsibilities, depression and even my physical pains. Something else the majority of people my age and younger don't understand is carers responsibilities. Almost everyone here that I have spoken only has themselves to worry about. They have no dependents, and as such the only financial and time related responsibilities have been self-related. I mention that I help care for my family and they can't even comprehend what I mean by that. They are fortunate enough to either not have disabled family members or have other family members that can care for them. I have been asked why I don't just leave my family to look after themselves with the public health systems to help them out? Anyone who has delt with the public health system knows it does not properly support low-income people with non-physical disabilities. 

In other news, one of my 3-year-old boys got a urinary blockage and had to spend a couple of days at the vet. He is home now seeming happy, and his brother is definitely much happier to have him home! He had to spend time at a 24/7 emergency vet clinic, they wanted to keep him a couple more nights, but thankfully they let me take him to my normal vet after the first night. This made the vet bill more than 10 times cheaper! My Youngest girl (who acts like the boys) also had a dental procedure last week. She is less than a year old and has already had to have teeth removed. They said she probably would not want to eat that night. but as soon as I brought her home, she went straight to the food bowl and was eating! Both of these cats really love their food! 

Saturday was Mum's 60th afternoon tea that I organised. It seemed to go well with people enjoying themselves. Only after the last guest left did I realise how much physical pain I was in though. While I was busy making food, and entertaining people I totally blocked out any headaches I had. I also realised once they left that I had only sat down maybe 2 minutes over the past 4 hours or so and my feet and lower back were quite sore.

Lastly, I had a short work shift on Sunday. I was thinking, great its a short day and I can have half a day at home to recover after the week. Of course that didn't happen. I was using the work car and got a flat tyre. Being a Sunday, there were no tyre shops open anywhere where I was, and NRMA could only tow me to the tyre shop and leave me there, with all the animals in the car. Thankfully my wonderful partner gave up his day off to come and get me and the critters to take us back to where they live and to where my car was. 

So I'm back at Uni today and have a whole week of PhD work to do again, with no time to actually rest. I do have a couple of science talks in a pub I will be going to which I will enjoy. However, while I may be doing enjoyable activities, I am still not getting to actually sit down and do nothing but rest. I still have on and off headaches of varying degrees of pain, but thankfully no debilitating migraine symptoms for a maybe a week. I can also be thankful for having perfect eyes. I had an optometrist appointment last week and they did several different tests, and I was perfect for them all! I even got to see behind/inside my eyes :D That was really cool!

Here is a picture of what it kind of looked like (not my eye):



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